Therapy for Teens

Hi!

If you are reading this, it is probably because there is something happening in your life that you wish was going differently. Either that, or someone that loves you thinks you could use some support. I’m not sure what you’ve heard about therapy–who or what you believe it’s for. What I do know is that therapy often gets a bad rap!  So let’s bust a few myths:

1. “Only crazy people need therapists” If I had a dollar for every time I heard this one I would be rich! In my opinion, there’s not a person on earth who could not benefit from seeing a therapist. Do you want someone to talk to about your goals, dreams and ambitions? Someone to help you explore what it would mean for you to live a more meaningful life? How about someone to help you change some things about your life that aren’t going the way you’d like them to? Are there behaviors, feelings or relationships that you feel are holding you back? The most common things I support young people with are: self esteem issues, confusion about the future, conflict with parents or other relatives, school problems, unhealthy peer or romantic relationships and confusion/fear around sexuality or ‘coming out’ to family.  You only get one wild life, why not make it the most beautiful one you can imagine?

2. “Therapy is for weak people” Even the happiest, most self reliant people go through periods in their lives that push them past their ability to cope on their own. Admitting that you want or need help is one of the bravest things I can think of. If a little voice in your head (or someone you actually know) is telling you to just “get over it” or “snap out of it”, ask yourself this question: If your best friend told you they were struggling, unhappy or feeling stuck and wanted to see a therapist, would you tell them they were weak and to get over it on their own? I doubt it! What might you say instead? Whatever you might say to your best friend is what you should also say to yourself. You deserve just as much grace as the people you love.

3. “Talking about my problems won’t help” Sometimes, no matter how much the adults in our lives love us, it is hard for us to talk to them about what we’re going through because we are afraid to hurt, disappoint or upset them. As a teenager, how often do you get the opportunity to be the expert? In my office, you are the expert on your own experience, which means I won’t tell you what you think or feel is stupid, wrong or unrealistic. I like to think of a therapist’s office as the one place we can say LITERALLY anything that’s on our mind, without fear of judgment or consequences. I don’t know anyone you know, and I am legally bound to keep your secrets (minus a few exceptions like if you’re having thoughts about suicide or if someone is hurting you). How would your life be different if you had an unbiased outsider in your life that wanted to help you carry the heavy stuff? I won’t get into the nitty gritty, but there is a TON of research and evidence-based practices that are shown again and again to have positive outcomes for people and support them in improving their lives.

4. “If I start therapy, I will have to go forever!” ANY good therapist’s goal should be to help you get to a place where you feel confident you have the tools to handle whatever life throws at you and you no longer need outside support. There may be times in your life when stressors or old negative patterns of thinking, feeling or behaving are no longer working for you and you want to seek counseling again. This is super normal and totally okay! But the only person that gets to decide how long you are in therapy is you. I will consistently ask for your feedback, if what we are doing is working for you, if you are seeing improvements in your wellbeing and what you’d like to focus on next.

5. “Therapy looks like me laying on a couch and an old man sitting behind me asking me about my relationship with my mother…” Well.. sometimes! But I am personally neither old nor a man, so you don’t have to worry about that with me. Side note: we will only talk about your relationship with your mom if that’s something you’d like to work on. 😉 Sessions with me will be relaxed and open. In my office, we are equals–we are a team that is working together towards building you the best life you can imagine. Together with your other trusted people, like your parents, we will work through things that have had you stuck. We can sit in the office or go for walks, we can do creative projects, writing exercises or listen to music. We will do the hard work, I will ask you hard questions and it may be uncomfortable sometimes, but it will be okay because together we can do hard things. We will also have fun! We will laugh and crack jokes and not take ourselves too seriously. Because growing should always be at least as enjoyable as it is hard.

I hope this helped you get an idea of what therapy could do for you, who I am and how I could potentially be a supportive part of your life. I want you to know that I do not hold the secret to unlocking your happiness or potential–YOU do! My job isn’t to tell you how to be happy or how to build the most meaningful life you can imagine. My job is to ask you the right questions, push you to consider things you maybe haven’t thought about yet and hold you accountable to the goals you set for yourself. The bottom line is that I believe that no one should ever have to feel like they are doing life alone. I can’t wait to meet you!

Devon

Hypnotherapy- Dealing with Anxiety & Quarantine

Time, so much time. Time to do that yardwork you’ve been putting off since October, time to do every dusty puzzle you can dig up from the basement, time to watch every show your never thought you would waste a second on, time to clean behind the fridge, under the stove, and spaces you only just recently realized existed in your home. Time is something many of us have an abundance of right now. For some people that is a luxury, and for many others it is a breeding ground for anxiety. Unscheduled and open time can bring up many things we have been consciously (or unconsciously) shoving down to “deal with later”. Well, unfortunately, that “later” is now. Without those same everyday distractions of life to keep our minds busy, some of those anxious thoughts are probably surfacing. Whether they are old tired thoughts or shiny new ones that your mind has just recently come up with, (our brains are so good at that) hypnosis can help! 

Hypnotherapy is extremely useful during times of crisis, when it feels like you have no control over anxiety and circular thoughts. With hypnosis, we can interrupt these feelings (or any other undesired feeling) by using something I call an “anchor”. This anchor creates control over your thoughts and emotions, stopping rumination in its tracks. Using hypnosis, we open the door to the subconscious mind, allowing deeper work through connection to self. By experiencing a situation (under hypnosis) in a different way than you ever experienced it in real life, you uncover blocks and even create new neural pathways in the brain – instead of using those old paths that led to the same undesired results. In fact, one session of hypnotherapy can be as effective as up to five sessions of talk therapy in dealing with anxiety and stress! 

 This is an incredibly helpful way to allow you to remove those “anxiety goggles,” blurring how we perceive reality. Without them, we can more easily deal with any underlying issues that may be causing the anxiety in the first place, disarming it and taking our power back! By allowing ourselves to see clearly again, we are also able to “empty our cups” and allow for more space to deal with the unexpected stress of living in quarantine or whatever else comes up for us during this time.

If you are tired feeling controlled by anxiety and are ready to gain your power back, schedule an appointment! Let’s work together to use this time to create lasting positive change!

Couples Therapy During Covid 19

Let’s be honest, our world is profoundly different than it was just a few weeks ago. In a matter of days we went from cruising along with our relationships, careers and family life, to spending every waking hour near our partners and feeling the underlying issues we haven’t addressed starting to bubble up.

Maybe at first this seemed like a blessing. “Wow I get to spend time with my loved ones like I haven’t in a really long time.”

Maybe it’s more like, “Shit, we haven’t been getting along at all, and now all the ways I’ve been avoiding our issues are constantly in my face.”

Maybe it’s somewhere in the middle. “I love this person, but our tension is right there and we can’t seem to shake it.” “I can go blow off steam at the gym.” And “I can’t go get coffee with a friend band shake it off.”

Now is a great time to start sorting out some of those communication issues you’ve known were a problem. Take some of this time to learn how to lean on each other in ways that actually leave you feeling closer and understood. Goodness knows that there is a lot of stress and worry right now!

Basics of Hypnotherapy

Upon learning I am a hypnotherapist, the typical reaction is, “wow that is fascinating!” immediately followed by, “what does it mean exactly?” Although many people are familiar with hypnosis as portrayed on television, throughout media and stage performance, it is often misunderstood. One of the most common misconceptions is that a hypnotist can control the mind of another, forcing the person to do whatever they tell them. For example, if the hypnotherapist tells their subject to cluck like a chicken, that person will cluck forever until they are released of mental bondage. In reality this just cannot happen.

Even the dictionary definition of hypnosis is somewhat mysterious: “A trance-like state that resembles sleep but is induced by a person whose suggestions are readily accepted by the subject” – makes perfect sense right?  

Before I lose you by quoting the dictionary, let me give you a digestible explanation of what hypnosis actually IS. Hypnosis is a very calm and relaxing state in which the door to the subconscious mind is open, allowing change to happen quickly and effectively. If your conscious brain is the tip of the iceberg (the part in which thoughts, memories and responses are quickly accessed), the subconscious mind is the vast underwater part that holds deep, sometimes painful, memories and “knowns” about our world that control how we understand and respond.

Hypnotherapy is a process in which a hypnotherapist helps YOU to gain access to YOUR subconscious mind, therefore allowing effective change to take place by aligning the desires of your conscious mind to the knowns of your subconscious mind. Say for instance, that you want to quit smoking. Consciously, you may know all the reasons you want to quit – cigarettes smell, you hate being judged by strangers, you’re afraid of getting lung cancer… but subconsciously the positive knowns about cigarettes are stronger. It could be that subconsciously cigarettes relax you more than anything else, that they allow you to have a break from work or social engagements without question, that you love the ritual of holding them in your hand and blowing the smoke out of your mouth. These are all POSITIVE rewards that your subconscious brain is not easily going to give up!

What I do as a hypnotherapist is take those positive knowns and reverse them in your subconscious mind, aligning the subconscious with the conscious. By suggesting that the negatives far outweigh the positives, you are able to actually quit! Your conscious and subconscious are on the same page. There are so many things hypnotherapy can help with; just to name a few… goal setting, motivation, anxiety, addiction recovery, anger management, pain management, fears and phobias, weight loss, OCD, heart break, public speaking, habit control, confidence, stress release, bed wetting… the opportunities are endless. By aligning your subconscious mind to what you consciously want to achieve, the sky’s the limit on what you can accomplish, you are no longer standing in YOUR OWN WAY.

Hypnosis is a completely normal and natural state we go into everyday – including right before we wake up and go to sleep. It is relaxing, releasing, and an incredible way to connect to yourself. “Visualization journeys” under hypnosis are another way in which I can help my clients to deeply relax, uncover blocks and even create new neural pathways in the brain! By experiencing a situation (under hypnosis) in a different way than you ever have before, you create a new neural pathway – instead of using the same one that has led to the same undesired results. For example, if someone who has unsuccessfully tried to lose weight for years can see themselves actually accomplishing what they are setting out to achieve, this creates a new neural pathway where their efforts lead to success. By seeing themselves subconsciously at their goal weight, physically happy, and feeling what it emotionally feels like to have accomplished their goal, successful weight loss is no longer an unknown in their mind! Moving toward their goal in digestible, bite-sized steps, they have a clear vision of the end result and the road that the new neural pathway strengthens.

Let me leave you with a few tidbits to chew on – 1. Not only will you automatically reject suggestions under hypnosis that you do not believe benefit you, but you also cannot get “stuck” in hypnosis. The worst thing that happens if you are not “counted out” is that you might just be really sleepy and probably shouldn’t drive for awhile. 2. The conscious brain is estimated to make up 12% of the mind whereas the subconscious mind makes up for a whopping 88%! That is a lot of space that we do not have easy access to, but with hypnotherapy we are able to get there and make changes on a deep inner part of ourselves. Last thing, hypnosis is not a magical “cure”. 3. I tell all of my clients that we are co-creators in your success! I will help align the conscious mind with the subconscious mind, making it easier for YOU to do the work to accomplish whatever it is that you want to accomplish!

If any of this intrigues you and you are interested to try hypnotherapy for yourself please reach out. I can’t wait to help you achieve your dreams!

Covid 19 and Your Mental Well Being

Covid 19 and Your Mental Well Being

If your house looks anything like my house, you are sitting there trying to grasp the concept of something that seems hard, scary, and surreal at the same time. We all have coping strategies that have developed throughout our lives. Some of us are in denial, “It’s not that bad, what’s the big deal?” Some of us are thinking of worst-case scenarios. “Our lives will never be the same again. We are all going to die.” Some of us put on a brave face until the sun goes down and our worried thinking pops in and we are totally unable to get to sleep. The reason we have coping strategies is to help us feel like we have control. Control helps us feel safe, and if we can feel safe, then everything is going to be alright. (For example, buying up all the stuff at the grocery store. Preparedness equals control)

The problem with Covid 19 is that A LOT feels out of our control. This virus feels like a sneaky predator that will jump out of the bushes and get us. How do we control that? Whether you are feeling anxious, stressed, worried, sad, or totally flat, at Rekindle we are here to tell you that all of those feelings are totally normal. It is hard to be in “social distancing” and spinning out with all the feelings! 

A couple things that may help

Find what you can control

• What can you do for your mind? Your body? Your home?

Now is a great time to work on drinking enough water, stretching, learn to deep breathe, or find time to start journaling.

Have you been meaning to clean out a closet? Deep clean the garage? Organize your kid’s toys? 

Figure out ways to find a genuine connection right now (not mindless social media scrolling). We are wired to want to connect with people we love. 

• Give your partner, your kids, your dog a 30-second hug 

• Call your grandma

• Write someone a real letter

• Tell someone how much you appreciate them.

Reach out for some extra help

At Rekindle we are offering telehealth appointments right now with therapists. Whether you are looking to talk with someone about your worries, or you’d like to schedule an over the phone hypnotherapy appointment, we are here. Tele-hypnotherapy has been proven to be a great way to alleviate all types of anxiety, whether it be from our recent struggle or issues we have had lingering from the past. Hypnotherapy can also help with insomnia and general well-being. Rekindle also offers therapy for tweens, teens, individuals, and couples. 

720-394-3442